


Something Christmassy

by DelilahMcMuffin



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Christmas Movies, Die Hard References, Fluff, Love Actually References, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelilahMcMuffin/pseuds/DelilahMcMuffin
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve. David and Patrick are settling in to watch Patrick’s favourite Christmas movie. David has opinions.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 37
Kudos: 110
Collections: Reel Schitt's Creek Prompt Fest





	Something Christmassy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NeelyO](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeelyO/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Reel_Schitts_Creek](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Reel_Schitts_Creek) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> A full-on AU with Patrick as John McClane? Patrick as Hans Gruber would also totally work. 
> 
> Or just a scene where SC folks are watching/debating the merits of Christmas action movies? I’d be happy with any/everything to do with Die Hard.

"Oh, God…" David groaned as they trudged down the hallway after spending Christmas Eve at the Rose’s annual Christmas Eve party, which had expanded from its very sad beginnings last year to include a buffet dinner. "I'm soooo full! It's a good thing I wore my stretchy pants."

"I told you to slow down," Patrick replied as he unlocked the front door of his apartment, holding it open for David and then following him inside. He pressed a kiss to David’s neck, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him tightly against his chest. 

"Ugh. I'm never eating again," David mumbled, burying his face in the crook between Patrick’s neck and shoulder.

"You say that now," Patrick said. "But knowing you, you'll be the first in line for turkey tomorrow."

David pulled back and looked at him, a teasing smile on his face. "Is it wrong that even though I'm almost painfully full right now, my mouth started watering when you mentioned turkey?"

"Wow. You sure know how to turn a guy on," Patrick quipped. "I'd hate to see what happens to you when I mention pumpkin pie."

"Mmm… pie…" David groaned, licking his lips.

"Okay, seriously stop that," Patrick chuckled. "I'm actually starting to get turned on now."

David patted his cheek and grinned. "Well, that's too bad for you, because I'm too full for sex."

"Tease."

"I'm going to get ready for bed," David said, untangling himself from Patrick's arms and heading for the bathroom. "You wanna pick out a movie for us to watch? Something Christmassy."

"Something Christmassy. Gotcha." Patrick watched him disappear into the bathroom. He sat down on the floor and studied his DVD collection, searching for something seasonally appropriate. He couldn't help but shake his head and laugh at all the Rom Coms that were now interspersed in with his own. Movies Patrick would never, ever have admitted to watching until very recently now stared back at him from the shelves. His eyes fell upon  _ Love, Actually. _ David had been badgering him to watch it for weeks leading up to Christmas, and in a moment of weakness, Patrick had finally caved, curling up on the couch with David to watch what he claimed was the 'best Christmas movie ever'.

Patrick had thought it would be painful, but it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Sure, it was sappy and overly sentimental. But it had its moments, and he'd actually laughed out loud a few times. The truth was he'd probably watch it again if David asked him… not that he was going to tell him that. He couldn't make it that easy for David. It just wouldn't be right.

He continued to troll through the titles until he found the one he wanted. Taking it from the shelf, he nodded his satisfaction and opened the case, placing the disc in the DVD player on his laptop and getting to his feet. He went into the kitchen and busied himself making two cups of hot chocolate, topping his own with a healthy dollop of whipped cream and David’s with a handful of the miniature marshmallows he loved so much.

He was just getting himself settled on the couch when David emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam and the scent of lavender, a towel wrapped around his waist and another turbaned around his hair. He smiled shyly at Patrick before heading over to the bed. Patrick heard the unzipping of David’s overnight bag followed by the soft rustle of fabric. 

"You pick something?" David asked, sitting down beside Patrick, curling his long legs up onto the couch.

"Yup."

"What are we watching?" 

"It's a surprise," Patrick said. "Hot chocolate?" he asked, handing over David’s mug, his insides melting just a bit at the delighted smile on his boyfriend’s face upon seeing his beloved marshmallows.

"You remembered!" David said, cuddling into Patrick’s side and kissing his cheek. "I love you."

"Love you too, David."

Patrick grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch, wrapping his arm around David’s shoulders and pulling him into his side before draping the blanket snuggly over top of them. "Comfy?" David smiled and nodded, resting his head against Patrick’s shoulder. "Alright. Here we go."

He pressed play on the laptop and grabbed his own mug, sipping carefully at the hot liquid as the credits rolled.

"Um…Patrick? What are we watching?"

"I told you; it's a surprise."

"But… I thought you were going to pick out a Christmas movie."

"I did. This is  _ my _ favourite Christmas movie of all time," he said. "I watched yours, so now you get to watch mine."

"But… it's not even Christmassy!"

"Are you kidding me?" Patrick asked, pressing pause and narrowing his eyes at David. "Have you even seen  _ Die Hard _ ?"

"I don't have to see it to know that it's not a Christmas movie," David replied haughtily. "It's an action movie, Patrick. It's just Bruce Willis running around shooting people and blowing stuff up."

"Yeah… on  _ Christmas Eve _ ," Patrick replied sagely. "But it's so much more than that, David. See, this guy John McClane… he's a cop from New York and he's separated from his family. All he wants for Christmas is to see his wife and kids again, so he goes to LA and… are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, I'm listening," David sighed dramatically. "John McClane goes to LA, kills a bunch of bad guys, saves Christmas and they all lived happily ever after."

"So you have seen it," Patrick deadpanned.

"Patrick!"

"Please, David? I watched yours!"

"Are you trying to tell me you didn't like  _ Love, Actually _ ?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," Patrick grumbled. "It wasawful. I hated every minute of it."

"Liar," David chuckled into his mug. "You loved it. You even cried at the end."

"I did not!" Patrick said indignantly. "I had… something in my eye."

"Of course you did," David taunted, reaching out to ruffle Patrick’s hair, smirking when he turned and glared.

"Come on. Give it a chance, David. You might actually like it."

"Ugh, fine!” David groaned, looking very long suffering. “I will make you a deal," he said. "I will watch  _ Die Hard _ with you if… I get to open one present tonight."

"I don't know," Patrick teased, "I think all those presents under the tree are for me. Maybe there's a lump of coal somewhere in the back for you…"

"Patrick! I am  _ trying  _ to compromise with you!"

Patrick laughed, gazing back at David fondly. "And you’re doing such a great job, babe.” David preened at the compliment. Patrick rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Deal. You can open one present tonight," he said. "But I get to pick which one."

"Better be a really good one."

"David, they're all really good ones," Patrick replied. "You're so spoiled it's not even funny."

David pressed a soft kiss to Patrick’s lips before nuzzling down against him once more. "What are we waiting for? Press play already. The sooner this is over, the sooner I get my present!"

* * *

" _ Oh. My. God _ ," David said as the final credits rolled. "Patrick! That was… I can't believe you let me go all this time without seeing that movie!"

"Excuse me?" Patrick scoffed. "Um, I've been trying to get you to watch that movie for like  _ six months _ !"

"Details, details," David said, waving off Patrick’s comment. "You never mentioned Bruce Willis running around in his tiny little white tank top and his tight little pants before,” David said, giving Patrick a flirty little shoulder shimmy. “And did you see those muscles? God, I forgot how hot he was back then…"

"Uh… I'm sitting right here," Patrick said, sticking out his lower lip in an affected pout.

"Can we watch it again?"

"Um… no. Actually we can never watch it ever, ever again. You've ruined  _ Die Hard _ for me forever," Patrick sulked. "I hope you're happy."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," David said, smiling sweetly at him. "Do you need something to make you feel better? A little distraction, maybe?" He leaned in and skimmed his lips down Patrick’s neck. 

"Mmm… yeah. Yes…” Patrick murmured in response, tilting his head to give David’s lips better access to his neck. He groaned when those lips suddenly disappeared.

"Good. Time for my present!" David grinned, squirming excitedly on the couch beside him.

"You know what? I changed my mind. No present for you."

"But you promised," David pleaded, batting those long, dark eyelashes. "Please? Pretty please?"

"God, you're so spoiled."

"Only because you love spoiling me," David replied. 

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Patrick sighed. 

David grinned, pushing Patrick up off the couch toward the tiny tree they’d set up beside the fireplace. "Now get going. I want my present."

Patrick rooted around under the tree, taking his time in selecting just the right gift. He teased David a few times, picking up larger presents, then shaking his head and setting them down again before he finally got to his feet, a small, thin rectangular package held in his hand.

He sat down beside David and handed him the gift. His stomach coiled in nervous knots as he watched David pull away the shiny red paper with trembling fingers, revealing a velvet covered box.

"Patrick…" David breathed, looking back at him uncertainly. And Patrick knew what he was thinking, that this was too much, too expensive. Something he probably couldn't afford.

"Please, David. Just open it."

David lifted the lid, his breath catching in his throat at the line of thick gold rings that lay nestled in a bed of silk. "Ohmygod!" He looked up at Patrick with tears in his eyes.

"You like them?" Patrick asked, taking the box from David and lifting one of the bands from its resting place, holding it up for David to see. The ring was a perfect copy of the silver cuffs David wore on his right hand every day, except cast in shining gold. 

"Patrick… they’re beautiful."

"Are you sure? They’re not… you really like them?”

"Baby, they’re perfect." David smiled at him and Patrick raised his hand to gently wipe the tears from David’s eyes. "Are they…? They're not…? You're not… are you?"

"Oh, shit!" Patrick grimaced. "I'm doing this all wrong… Sorry, babe. I'm just… I guess I'm just nervous."

"Don't be nervous, Patrick," David whispered. "Just… just say it."

Patrick took a deep breath and let it out slowly, taking David’s left hand in his and pressing a kiss to his long, elegant fingers. "I love you so much, David," he began, his voice trembling slightly as he fought to control his nerves and emotions. "When I'm with you, I feel like the person I was always meant to be. You make me happy, you make me laugh. And you are so stubborn, you drive me absolutely fucking crazy sometimes.”

"That's my favourite part," David laughed, his tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

"I know it is, and you're so good at it." Patrick winked at David, sliding off the couch and onto one knee in front of him. "I can't imagine my life without you, David. And I don't want to. You’re the love of my life. I want to get grey hair with you. I want to argue with you about what movie to watch on Christmas Eve… every Christmas Eve. Even when we're 90 years old and living in some God-awful retirement community. I want to prove to you that I'm better looking than Bruce Willis ever was in a white tank top… I'll even buy some tight jeans if I have to.” David raised an eyebrow at that and Patrick chuckled. “Okay, I’ll buy some  _ even tighter _ jeans.” David hummed appreciatively at that through his tears. “So, what do you say? David Rose, will you marry me?"

Wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his Comme de Garçons sleep shirt, David nodded his head, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s neck and kissing him.

"So… is that a yes?"

"Yes! Yes! Of course it's a yes!" David sobbed, his smile bright and dazzling, from ear to ear. Patrick slid the golden ring onto David’s ring finger, followed quickly by the other three. They fit perfectly and David held out his hand, turning it this way and that, gazing in amazement as the gold glinted in the light.

"You really like them?" Patrick asked again, climbing back onto the couch and pulling David onto his lap. David cuddled into his chest, resting his head in the crook of Patrick’s neck.

"I love them," David sighed. "And I love you."

Patrick kissed his forehead, wrapping him tightly in his arms. "I love you, too,baby. So, so much."

"Do you want to open one of your presents now?" David asked, looking up at him.

"Nah. I don't need to," Patrick replied. "I already got what I wanted for Christmas."


End file.
